Running Away From Fears
by worldofchancesforyou
Summary: Voldemort is dead. Harry blames himself for all the lives lost in the battle, when a friend comes to him wishing to escape the memories of the past. It's his opportunity to run. Eventually Harry/Ginny.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter everything belongs to J.K Rowling but the character I created; Charley Logan. **

**I hope you enjoy this is my first story.**

Caring means getting hurt, caring means losing everything, that's why I stopped caring, that's why I pushed everyone away. That's why I'm stood alone staring at your name on a slab a tear rolling down my face. I sniff loudly a s I slowly wipe the tears away before bending down, I press my lips to my hand and blow you a kiss and I hope to God you can see me. I whisper 'I love you' and try to get back up but the feeling in my chest is heavy, it's weighing me down. I fall to the floor I'm trying to work out how I got here, how things turned out like this. I don't try and stop the tears falling and a sob escapes my lips. It's over. Everything is over, the war, the dark times but you're not here to see it.

Gradually the tears stop and I'm just laid there in a crumpled heap breathing heavily I don't even know how long I've been there but I know it must have been hours. I pick myself up of the ground a numb feeling sweeping through me. I don't feel anything anymore. I don't plan on feeling anything anymore.

I walk away and I know a part of my heart is left behind and everything in me wants to lie next to your name, because that's all it is. It's not you, you're not really there it's just a name on a piece of stone. I glance behind me and see your grave above all others the red rose I left stood out against the dull colours of the cemetery.

I grit my teeth together and carry on walking because there's nothing left for me now, even though for everyone else these are happy times celebrating the victory of Harry Potter. The world finally rid of evil. I could care less because I would wish them all back for another moment with you. Another moment in your arms your hand in my hair our lips collided in a second of pure passion and love.

I swallow the lump in my throat and find I've walked to the gates of Hogwarts I look up there was no evidence of the battle in which took place here anymore. The lights lit up convincing people of homely feel but as I looked up at the magnificent building memories of you flooded my mind. The one place we felt safe was nothing but pain to me now.

I found myself walking forward towards the place where I met you a lopsided grin on your face, your bright blue eyes glistening brightly an arrogance about you that could put James Potter to shame. I'd seen you around before but we'd never spoke, never acknowledged each other. Of course it was normal for that behaviour you were a Slytherin and I were a Gryffindor, it was an unwritten code that we had to hate each other.

I push my hand in my pocket and feel the gold chain, let it run through my fingers, the cold metal felt good against my warm hand. You had been wearing it the day you...died. I could feel the bile rising in my throat I'd given you it. It was a present.

"Charley," I heard a voice call behind me I hadn't realised I'd been stood in the Great Hall looking up at the enchanted ceiling but I was, "this is a nice surprise."

I turn round to face Harry and I try to smile at him but I can't because I have no reason to smile anymore, "Yeah," I mutter and I see his face fall; he understands he always does. I don't say anything else, I don't have to, he's reached me in a instant and his arms are wrapped around me holding me close, his hands rubbing my back comfortingly but all I can think about are your arms and how they felt.

"It's been a year," I say and burry my head in shoulder.

He doesn't say anything because there isn't anything to say, it was an obvious statement one Harry would have been conscious of. Of course he would he was there he didn't just watch you die. I pull away from him and I can see the grave look on his face and his distant eyes and I know he's remembering, remembering things he wished he never had to.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled bring him back to reality, "I shouldn't have come you have your own mourning's."

He shuck his head and pulled me towards him again and I rest my head on his shoulder, "No I'm glad you came you're the only one who understands. The others there mourning but...they don't understand how guilty I feel. It's my fault."

I sigh of course he had to bring up feeling guilty, "We share the blame Harry along with Dumbledore wherever he is."

He smiled wearily, "I know but it doesn't stop the guilt does it?"

"No," I whisper and I can see the flashes of green light the ones I had tried to suppress, "I have so much power Harry, so much, and I couldn't even protect the one's I love I couldn't even protect him. I was stupid."

"Stupid, you? No, no you have the power but you're only one person Charley you couldn't be everywhere."

I sigh and nod my head and inhale the sweet smell of roses that seemed to follow Harry everywhere, I heard footsteps approaching us but I don't look up and Harry just rests his chin on my head. I know he's eyes are closed, I know he's not here he's there back to where we both never want to revisit.

"Harry," The voice is clear and loud I know whose it is and I can hear the annoyance in her voice, she still loves him and to see him holding me so securely most be aggravating, "Professor McGonagall would like to see you."

He sighs and pulls away from me, "Thank you Ginny," it's formal and almost cold I know he's trying to pull away from her, he doesn't want to lead her on because he can't do this, he can't care for someone anymore just like I can't.

She stalks away and I can see the angry tears in her eyes I frown I wish I wasn't the cause of them, "Come with me," He whispers and I nod and we walk through the halls of Hogwarts, I see you everywhere, I see the moments we shared flash before my eye, the secret kisses and forbidden walks around the school past curfew. I want to scream coming here was a bad idea but the idea of be held in Harry's arms had overpowered everything. I felt safe in his arms; I forgot everything in his arms.

"Ah Mr. Potter there you are," Professor McGonagall says warmly and then her eyes land on me and I can see her eyeing our hands, our hands which are holding each other's so tightly. I feel guilty as soon as I realise it, what if you can see? It isn't what it looks like. I pull away and I see him frown at me I shake my head he knows I'll explain later, "And Miss. Logan I'm so glad you could make it."

I nod there was ceremony been held at the school for all the lives lost I wasn't going to come, I'd even told the woman before us I wasn't going to make it but here I was.

"I was wondering whether or not you had decided if you were going to speak Harry?" She asks him a hopeful look on her face and I roll my eyes, I knew it would be best if he did. Imagine the Daily Prophet if Harry Potter didn't give a speech over 'the deaths he caused'.

He looks at me and I know he's debating on whether or not I need him beside me I place my hand on his arm reassuringly he closes his eyes and Professor McGonagall decides she best say something else, "I know you don't want to Harry I know you would rather stay with your friends at a time like this but honestly it's for the best. You really don't want any bad publicity right now."

Harry grinds his teeth together and nods, "I know I suppose I will."

Professor McGonagall smiles sadly and nods, "Thank you Harry."

We walk away from the headmistress and head downstairs back down to Great Hall which was gathering with people now. I was holding his hand again I knew I shouldn't but it felt right, I felt like I could face anything with his hand in mine. We sit far away from everyone his arm around my shoulders protectively. I knew he was trying his hardest not cry to be strong not just for me but everyone else too.

I lean further into him and close my eyes I just want to forget everything. I want to run away, I want to be as far away as possible. I rub my eyes tiredly and notice Harry seems lost in thought I know not to disturb him.

We sit like that for a while both lost in moments of the battle watching the deaths we saw but the one that replays the most is you. The way you body crumpled to the floor, you cold lifeless eyes and the way your hand grasped your wand tightly. I was going to be sick I knew it. I sat up fast and Harry followed his hand rubbing my back gently as I leant forward and the sick travelled up my throat. It was as over as fast as it came and Harry quickly vanished the disgusting liquid. I sighed.

"It's okay," He tells me but I can see the look in his eyes where always going to be haunted by what we have seen and what we should have done. The lives we could have saved.

"I don't want to be here anymore Harry, I want to be as far away from London as I can get."

He frowns and looks around the hall at the people gathered to give their blessing, The Weasley's, Hermione, what was left of the order, parents of loved ones. His eyes landed on me again, "I feel the same way," he muttered.

He stood up and grabbed my hand; I followed him towards Andromeda and Teddy Tonks and finally smiled at the small cheeky grin on the baby Teddy's face.

"Hey Andy," he said in greeting she had red puffy eyes and I knew she was grieving for her daughter, husband and son-in-law I felt my heart tighten she had nothing but her grandson left.

"Hi Harry," she mumbled and passed Teddy to his godfather she wiped her running nose and tried her best to smile at me, "Charley."

"Andromeda I wanted to ask you something," Harry told the older woman who nodded for Harry to continue "would you, would you like to get away from here for a while with me and Charley?" I looked at him shock obviously written on my face, "Been here where it all happened it's too much and I know you mentioned wanting to get away from here, it'll be the four of us."

I managed to smile Harry was doing all this for me maybe it wouldn't be so bad to care for someone like him. I swallowed I shouldn't let him do this he would be leaving everything behind, his friends, his family.

"Harry," she whispers, "I...what about everyone here?"

Harry looks down sadly, "I everyone I see has lost someone because of me you, Charley, The Weasley's I don't want to do this anymore all I can do is hope they understand. You by all means can keep in contact with them as long as you don't tell them I am with you as can Charley but I want a fresh start away from everyone. Everyone but my godson and the one person who gets me," he whispered the last me and chanced a look at me, I was trying not to cry now.

"I...when can we leave, where are we going?" she asks and I know she understands.

"We should leave now," I mutter speaking up for the first time, "otherwise you're going to have to do your speech."

He nods and looks at Andromeda who nods her head and together we walk out of the Great Hall, Harry holding his godson tightly to his chest. As soon as they got out of Hogwarts the apparated to Andromeda's house to get Teddy's things and left not bothering to say goodbye.

They went straight to Australia.

**Thank you for reading a review would be appreciated but it's totally cool if you don't, I'll still love you!**


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